Shocking

I've been playing a fair amount of infamous as part of the welcome back pack on the PSN, which is probably what inspired this. That and probably some avatar related something in my head. Anyways, GESTURE drawing. Fun and quick, and I never do enough of it. I think I really like these tone combinations- I've had no glasses for the past few days and this gave me a break from the screen's normal glare.

Plus, 90% of the work I've been doing lately has been procedural so I've been itching to do more actual drawing.

I'll be back again tomorrow to talk about Tommie Kelly's new Irish Comic News site, The Spirit of Hope anthology, and flexing different muscles. TIL THEN, STAY CLASSY.

Perspective

-copypasta from Deviantart:

I've been drafting several versions of a journal on mental health, motivations and attitudes towards work. I think I just came across a journal that solidified my stance on the matter

It was basically a moan that nobody turned up for a livestream, and that there was no point to being on DA yadda yadda yadda. Typoes, caps lock, the whole shebang.
I've a good mind to unfollow that person, as that's pretty much the exact wrong attitude to have.

The big question is WHY does everyone do what they do? Get out of bed, eat healthy food, draw pretty pictures, live in general. What is it that makes you tick. There might be some horrible answer to that like 'out of habit' or 'well that's all there is to do', so spin is absolutely vital. Perspective has a profound effect on how life treats you. How you treat life affects how life treats you, I guess.

On motivations-
The obvious tack to take here is analysing drawing, painting and the whole art element. Most of us have this in common. I used to think that I drew as an emotional crutch and as a means of escapism, and in a way that's still true, but mostly I do it to stop myself getting bored. Painting, designing characters, writing stories all challenge me to take what I've experienced, wrestle to understand them and churn them back out in a way that is understandable useful and creative. Like origami with your memories.

Anyone who's spent time with me in a city may have noticed I can be like a curious puppy looking at everything, from lamposts to underneath shop signage to light arrangements and stall construction in clothes shops. Everything is interesting , from design, form, colour, decay, how people interact with it, it's something I never get tired of studying- sketchbook in hand or no.

I find things interesting, I enjoy doing it, I want to improve, I want my artwork to affect people, I want to tell stories, somewhere in there I gotta make a living too.

Seamless tangent into mental health- well, almost seamless.

I realise these are very selfish reasons, and for a while this had me quite depressed. I came to the conclusion that I've put all this time into learning these skills, the best course of action would be to do something good with it, so I could have my cake and make the world a better place. I'm still working that part out. Figuring out what is good for the world is tricky.

I've hit a broad range of ideas, some very positive, and some requiring leaving the internet and never returning. But these are just ideas, and chime in my head like the infantryman in War of the Worlds. We'll see what happens. If it goes the most drastic way, it may end up being me incentivising myself to interact more in reality than I have to date.

So yeah, my motivations for a large part have been self serving, and I think that's a bad thing. Knowing that and wanting change, I think that's important. I find it curious that my desire for self improvement has extended beyond my pen and paper, which is a welcome change in theory. In practice it makes me a mopey sod, but again, knowing I need to press through this and come out on top gives me drive.

That being said, I have no idea where I get this from. Actually, no, I have ideas but some of them are in of themselves discouraging and others are downright terrifying. One battle at a time.

I get incredibly depressed from time to time, other times I'm an unstoppable force of wow. I'm not diagnosed as bipolar, but I'd say I'm well on my way there. Stephen Fry did a talk on something similar, really need to look it up. Understanding these things make them easier to deal with. Here's where I've been using art as an emotional crutch, and one I'm learning to walk without. Now, I go for a run. Eat more healthily, socialise more. Not sure if it's the effects of a better lifestyle or giving myself less reasons to hate myself, but it helps a little. I choose to think the former, focusing on positives is always better. (other times I eat junk food, wail on my guitar and drown myself in TV shows, but that is part of the problem not part of me dealing with it)


I said earlier I wanted my artwork to affect people, and I want to draw more attention to that. Not me, but my artwork. Yes, I'm a total attention whore, but that's not where I want the focus to be. I get a kick out of it when people think I've done my job well, but I don't expect them to bend over backwards or take any special action on my behalf. That's just silly, they're only pictures. Sometimes they're stupid, sometimes they're funny, and sometimes they're awful.

Which brings me to livestreaming.
Some of my friends, mainly *kitten-chan *TWULF and ~wanwan do regular streams from time to time. It's a great marketing tool, networking opportunity and in many cases learning experience. It's probably not bad for the aul ego, but it's not of itself an ego trip. I've seen other people walk the wrong side of the fence, and use it as an emotional crutch...which of course didn't work. Making a livestream as a means of egoboosting is dangerous. It shifts the onus of how important your work is from yourself onto other people. Motivational crowd surfing. I don't think I've found anyone who cares about my work as much as me. If I did, it'd probably be really creepy. If I do stream, I'll make sure it's for the right reasons.
People may like your work, but they don't owe YOU anything, and probably don't give a crap about you. It sounds cold, but how many of you worry about the dairy farmer who provides your shop with milk? Unless you've met them, interacted and formed a bond, they won't mean much to you on a personal level.

That's not to say I've not made good friends on here, but most of them I talk to on other platforms besides dA.


I've tried to show both sides to my attitudes towards work here to show that I' m not 100% super creepy optimist guy, but that the important part is actively seeking to improve things and find the right way of looking at things. Comments are most certainly welcome, challenge any or all things I say. I love a good debate

Zoo!

Pics from a recent trip to the zoo. Would love to take more time in future and break out some watercolours in future.

Everything in Black and White

So for the past few months the vast majority of my work has been colouring. Which means my actual drawing had taken a bit of a backseat, particularly in light of the move. I resolved once more to get back on the wagon and have begun drawing daily, trusty moleskine in hand and a selection of ink pens ready to go.
Suprisingly, I've been most happy with the results I've been getting from bog standard sharpies. Anyway, here's some of my 'homework' drawings, done of friends and unfortunate strangers dining near me.

1337

I, like most people, can be incredibly cynical and negative at times. Like right now, but luckily I've learned to basically break through it and keep going...otherwise I'd be a much better gamer.

There's a couple of things I tell myself to get me out of ruts, and push me to keep it up. Here's some of them.

Don't forget your basics.
Anything that isn't continually pushed will atrophy.
You are not your job. LIVE A LITTLE. OUTDOORS.
You are nowhere near good enough to be satisfied. Get drawing!
You are good enough to put work out there, there are more published, less talented people out there.
Excercising and sleep are important. Make time.
Life doesn't stop because you have a deadline. No suggestions on that one though.
Research is worth the time. Always.
Whatever you do, see it through.
Be economical. Work smart, work hard, work well.
Play to your weaknesses, especially when drawing. You hate drawing poodles? Guess what your next job is gonna be...
Don't begrudge the success of others. Be happy for them, inspired by them and let them know it! Everyone has the same doubts of their own work.
The only difference between productivity and laziness is perspective.
Be proud of your work, and how you do it. That is time, and skill, and part of you. You work is a greater mirror to your psyche than you can ever realise.

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The reason for the title; I tried to post this as a facebook status first, and it said it was too long- 1337 characters was too many.

Wander my Friends

Yesterday I was reading Bunny, saw Alice in Wonderland for the first time and read a bit of Maus. Wanted to try something simpler.

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain

This is largely a response to a conversation my dad and I had this morning. Actually, that was mostly on psychoanalysis of writers and critics, but in short, WRITING IS HARD.


I'm a fan of stories. Films, games, comics, tv, its more to me than just pretty pictures. Story is the key- and everything else is subservient to that in my opinion.

In that, I think being a professional writer is quite probably the most harrowing job I can imagine. Firstly, you're an IDEAS MACHINE. To constantly have to generate new concepts from the ethereal mist is harrowing, to walk a line between being absurd/incomprehensible and doing the exact same thing that's been done a million times before is a tricky one. Moving from project to project you also have to compete with yourself; what you've done before and what you hope to do differently/better/as well as. That's not even getting to the actual writing part.

Drawing from personal experience is always heavily on my mind when it comes to writing. Essentially, taking things that make me tick and putting a veiled version of it out there for the world to prod and poke. DO NOT WANT. But heck, that's part of all art forms, and if I had THAT big a deal I'd be off working in Starbucks.

Writing good characters is something that makes my brain go wobbly like trying to visualise a tesseract in my head (which led to a process of stop-thinking-like-a-human in that sort of scenario, but that's a whole different post). Keeping track of characters' conscious, subconscious and feigned thoughts is a delicate balancing act, and finding how much and how to tell it another parallel minefield of scary. They bear the weight of their imaginary worlds on their shoulders. Did I mention that I'm a tad dramatic at times?

That whole sort of thing is scary but enjoyable for me. I've been hacking away at Darklight, re-writing and tweaking bits over and over again for years. I'm not on a deadline.

Flow is the hardest thing for me to fathom in terms of writing. Visually, in static images and in comics to an extent its all laid out in front of you. You can, in one look, see how things flow and match your beats accordingly. Scrolling through documents...something I struggle with.

Getting that all within your word and pagelimit, something I haven't had to wrestle with before. I don't know if that makes it easier or harder, but with cramped space virtual and temporally, I don't envy professional writers one bit. I have had the pleasure of talking to/working with Tony Lee, and the sheer intensity of his schedule puts me in small panic attacks and makes me want to not bother him unless the world is coming to an end.

So yeah, much love for the writers.

(I hope to come back and do a piece on pencillers,inkers,letterers,and editors later. Probably colourists too, but that seems a little self indulgent)